Holiday Survival Guide 2014

Pre-traumatic Stress Disorder

Lately conversations with patients, friends, co-workers, store clerks, family, (aka everyone) all make mention of increased stress this time of year. The holidays have a knack for upping the anti on what stress already exists in our day to day lives because there are many things to do this time of year! There are lots of questions running through people's minds like: When are the holiday decorations going to go up? What type of stamp to choose for holiday cards ('versatile' winter or 'in your face holiday' Rudolph stamps?) When will there be time to put the holiday lights on outside the house? When is the tree going up? (Did I water the tree!?) Are there low hanging ornaments on the tree that children could choke on? How am I going to afford all of this? Only 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year? Shopping! Shopping!? Family! In Laws! Shopping! And the list goes on....

It may be useful to consider taking the month of December off from work or asking Obama to shorten the calender to only 11 months so that December is left purely for getting everything get done for once. But since these things are not happening, it may be more reasonable to consider strategies to help manage the holidays this year. Lets think through the concept of stress for a second. Stress is defined as a situation in which we are under mental or emotional strain or tension as a result of an adverse or demanding circumstance. I think we can qualify the holidays to be a 'demanding circumstance'. Today, I called my mother to wish her a happy birthday and when I got off the phone with her I was remembering her concerns about her long list of tasks to get through in the next couple of weeks and one thing she said resonated with me: "The reason I get so stressed is because I think of everything at once and it becomes overwhelming ." How brilliant. She summed up stress right there in one statement. This is not only holiday stress but anytime stress that shares this same sentiment. There is never just one thing on its own with no other interfering factors causing us stress, and never a time in our lives where there is only one thing happening at a time. As you read the next paragraphs, I want you to loosen the grip on your computer, stop searching for the perfect solutions,  start to feel your shoulders relax, and remember that it will all work out as it should. (oh and chuckle a little)


Holiday Survival Guide 2014-(in spirit of a famous holiday song):

1. Make a List.
Recommendation after recommendation I read about holiday stress management involves this first important step. Start with a list. Write out all the holiday details combined with the day to day things you have to do over the next few weeks. Include things like: 'make dinner for the family' and 'pack lunches' if you have to.) Get it all out on paper, nothing is too small or big to go on the list.

2. Take a deep breath. Have a glass of wine or a cup of tea, watch a holiday movie, etc.

3. Check Your List Twice.
Run through your list again (no planning yet, just brainstorming here!). Make sure you have it all down, I am sure you will forget something but that is okay! You can keep adding to the list if necessary.

4. Decide who is naughty and nice.
Delegate some of these tasks out to family members, friends, etc. Let go of the feeling you have to control and be in charge of everything. Choose things that mean the most to you and delegate things that mean the most to others. Simplify what needs to be done, cut some tasks if necessary, chances are there is way more on your list than humanly possible.

5. Schedule Santa's visit to town.
Here is where you find a calender and start to plan it out. Take one thing at a time and figure out when it can realistically happen. If there is too much, cut some more off the plate.

6. Take a deep breath and go with it.
We can never have enough reminders to stop and smell the roses (in this case pine trees and cinnamon sticks). The holidays are about different things to all of us. It is often when you create the memories and traditions for your families and friends for years to come. But as may be apparent and difficult at the same time: no two holidays are the same. Therefore, enjoy the process while it happens, embrace the glitches and laugh when things get too serious. Have perspective that gifts are not what make the holiday season, 'perfect' is not what makes the holiday season, 'expectations being met' is not what makes the holiday season but it is spending time with those you love that makes it. Appreciate everyday you have with those people who drive you nuts at times. Take it all with a grain of salt and try not to think about it all at once or you will get overwhelmed and this will lead to stress- as so eloquently put by Mom Raylinsky.

Love Actually

 The Chemistry of Love

The main focus in my practice is mental health, my viewpoint on healing comes from trying to link the physical body with what the mind is doing. The reality is- there is no chicken before the egg but an existing relationship when understood, can open the doorway for many things.

The brain is a natural place to start when thinking about emotion. Many of us think it a logical/intentional decision to be attracted or drawn to another human being, but really it is a fundamental signal from the body much like hunger and thirst.

One of the most important influences on love, hate, compassion and pleasure is Dopamine. Dopamine is produced in the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) and is part of the motivation/reward system in our brains...it activates desire.

Dopamine, aka reward and pleasure can fire in response to something as simple as eating foods we like, it can fire in response to winning a road race, or getting that promotion at work. However pleasures and rewards are not always limited to positive things, they can come from doing illicit drugs, they can be reasons why people overeat, why people struggle with addiction, why people work too much, etc. This is a what I call our impulsive neurotransmitter. It makes you feel pleasure but does not discriminate on what the catalyst is. An impressive but scary role.

Another important player in brain chemistry is Serotonin. This makes us feel important. We have increased Serotonin when we get that 'ego boost', it fires when someone compliments us or when we feel important. This can be responsible for that need to seek out blind acceptance and play an important role in our self esteem.

Next we have Oxytocin which makes us trust, this is the bonding neurotransmitter. This is the one that completes the loop in our relationships, it is what makes our efforts requited. This is when we love someone and they love us back, it is when an unspoken decision is made to trust the other person and strengthen a bond.

In the topic of relationships these neurotransmitters pose some questions and can put things into perspective as to why we lean toward one relationship over another, why we are happy with some people and not others, why we choose the friends we choose, and even why we choose the profession we do. This also explains how we might synthesize our attachments based on what our experiences were at a young age and into who we become as we grow older.